The Ties That Bind: Blessingway

This colourful unassuming little piece of cord has quite the story. It involves a wilful baby, the Full Moon and a psychic cat.

A few years ago a client of mine requested a private blessing ceremony. She was expecting her first baby and had attended support sessions with me throughout her pregnancy. I had been her therapist for some time before she conceived and it was an absolute joy for me to see her grow and transform - not only physically - from pre-conception to maternity.

My Blessingways are sacred, spiritual ceremonies for expectant mothers. Each ceremony is individual to the woman and her baby. For some women, ceremonies are arranged as an alternative - or in addition - to a baby shower, where the expectant mother's female friends and family gather to honour the mother and the new life that awaits her. For others, it is a private one to one experience of deep spiritual connection with herself, her baby and the Divine.

One of my sacred practices during ceremonies involves my commitment to ongoing support by binding the mother and myself until her baby is born, an etheric cord of dedication and a declaration of my spiritual commitment to her through this transition. This is physically symbolised by a dedicated binding ceremony and I place a cotton cord on each of our wrists until her little one is released from the cord that connects her baby to herself. When her baby arrives, the cords are cut from both of our wrists. (It is important for me to add here that this is a process of depth and purity of intent, contacting and working with the spirit realms for guidance and support and should only ever be conducted by a qualified, trained and experienced shamanic practitioner).

This cord was on my wrist a little longer than I had anticipated! Throughout my client's pregnancy it became clear that her little one had developed a very strong bond with his mother, and vice versa, and that he was very comfortable where he was, thank you very much. The bond between mother and baby was a beautiful thing to witness, but as the time moved on he was getting just a little too comfortable and was overdue by many days.

Modern medical approaches mean that women are often discouraged from going over their due date and are commonly induced or encouraged toward Caesarean section. This may be to reduce the risk of hospital liability or may be as simple as wanting a baby to keep to a timetable that is more convenient for the hospital. Either way, this can be problematic for both mother and baby in many ways. I have known women who have experienced significant birth trauma from these practices. My client did not want to be induced but with external pressures from medical staff, she was finding it hard to advocate for herself and her baby and finally agreed to an appointment she did not want to attend. As a first time mother, she was also acutely aware of how these pressures used fear as an influencing factor to encourage her to conform to their schedule. It is becoming increasingly hard for expectant mothers to allow a little breathing space for their baby's arrival.

My Due Date ReproReflexology sessions are for women who are around or past their due date as they are intended to help initiate the body's contraction response. These sessions are only ever for this and the methods I use are gently powerful, with the focus on gentle. Usually the contraction response begins around 2 days after the session and baby makes their appearance 2 to 3 days after the session. Never have I had to conduct a second session. That is, until this little one.

My initial approach for my client's first Due Date session had to be incredibly gentle. No unexpected moves, just nice and steady. As a shamanic midwife of the soul, my work with pregnant clients involves being the channel of psychic communication between baby and mother. I had months of experience of happily listening to this little one express himself - he was a strong willed soul, assertive in his communication. His mother had had conversations with him throughout her pregnancy and she spoke to him of poetry, art, of Nature and the Skies and he had been listening intently.

Initially I tried reasoning with him. This didn't work. Second time around I was firm but fair, employing different techniques and harnessing the call-to-action energy of myself and his mother. Both strong willed ourselves, we brought the matriarchal to the fore with our unshakeable stances of slightly exasperated women. But he was resolute. He communicated that he would not arrive until 'the Moon was full and the stars aligned''. This was a little concerning to me as the Full Moon was the next evening and his mother had been coerced into an induction the morning after the Full Moon. This was my last chance to gently and naturally encourage him on his way, otherwise he would be medically pushed from her and neither he nor his mother wanted this. I had no option but to trust that this little one would arrive when he said he would and so I reassured his mother that all would be well.

Just before 11pm the following evening I was standing in my garden before bedtime, basking in the light of the Full Moon, and suddenly I felt that this little one was already here. I checked my phone one last time before heading to bed. Nothing.

Early the following morning, I was awoken by one of my cats. He is a maverick with turquoise eyes (here he is sunning himself and looking rather chocolatey) who has a somewhat rebellious reputation, as many black cats do. He is, however, a devoted familiar and completely adorable. He is the elder at VOLVA HQ, older than all who reside here. He began to push his head forcefully under my arm to get me up and then hooked his claws into the cord on my wrist. He pulled at it until it began to untie and it fell from my wrist.

I immediately checked my phone and at 11.24pm the night before I had received a photograph from my client of her little boy. I thanked the Divine for supporting and protecting my client during childbirth and for the safe delivery of a healthy, beautiful baby who was true to his word.

I have many blessings in my life. One of the biggest is the work I do.

May Spring bring you your own beautiful blessings.

Andrea

Copyright ©Andrea Doran, VOLVA and contributors 2025. Initial publication date of post 9th March 2020.