When Do 'Inspirational' Quotes And 'Empowerment' Posts Become Damaging Instructions?

Jul 16
4 min read

A black and white image of a woman in a gym with boxing gloves on punching toward the camera

Social media is jam packed with 'inspirational' quotes and 'empowerment' posts - I too post quotes for #WisdomWednesday - and some posts strike a cord with us. Sometimes a little sentence can make a big difference to our day. Words are powerful and I personally try to ensure that the quotes I post can offer pause for thought.

A social media post stating inspirational quotes with a large purple question mark sitting on top of them — An 'empowering' post I came across on social media

But sometimes I come across what initially appears to be a well intentioned post that is, shall we say, a little misguided. Social media is a platform of mass consumerism. Scroll and discard, and we are now at the point where many accounts are using AI generated text to keep up with the constant demands for output. It is rare for anything to 'land' with us on social media because it is a saturated and competitive market with posts desperately competing to hook our attention. This post (without my less-than-subtle purple question mark) was on a social media page focused on 'women's empowerment' and 'supportive sisterhood' and it felt all wrong to me. It felt DISempowering. It felt based in fear. It felt coercive. And here's why.

'Make that phonecall. Send that text. Forgive that person. Tell them you love them. Or that you've missed them. Let go of that grudge.'

You see, there are reasons why you haven't phoned, texted or contacted that person. You may still hold a grudge, and you may have your own reasons for that. You may have forgiven them and there's a reason for that too. Forgiveness is an act of courage required to release yourself - not another - and sometimes we are not in the right place in the healing process to forgive or we feel that what we have experienced is unforgiveable. This seems a little odd in current times, not to forgive. We are used to being told 'forgive', 'be kind', 'move on' but this can border on a dangerous narrative that places the burden of responsibility on the victim and not the perpetrator.

'Show more kindness.'

Showing kindness is an offering, it's a gift of our humanity. Not everyone wants our offering or will accept the gifting of our hearts with grace. This is OK. We don't know each other's sorrows. Sometimes they are so great that sharing the light of your kindness with another reveals the extent of the darkness of their pain and they cannot bear it. Sometimes there is a familiarity - a comfort - in darkness. Sometimes people do not recognise kindness because they have never known it.

But, sometimes people are entitled. Sometimes they do not recognise kindness as a gift and treat it more of as a demand, an expectation, a bit like respect. If you are offering kindness to one who does not appreciate it for what it is or expects more and more of it - the same goes for respect - then continuing to offer kindness can become an act of self harm. This does not mean to resort to cruelty; we can be courteous but not extend any more of ourselves.

'Don't take any of it for granted.'

We all take things for granted and yes, ofcourse we should encourage ourselves to stop and see what we have every day. But taking things for granted is an unfortunate aspect of our lived experience in a society that's geared towards highlighting what you don't have in order to sell it to you. Sometimes we get swept away by the hive mind and we forget what we do have. If we don't remind ourselves, the cosmos has its own ways of doing that for us.

'Because tomorrow isn't promised.'

Tomorrow will always come. It's true that one day we will not have our own tomorrow but it will always come, with or without us. And we should not be encouraged to feel that, because one day we will die or that someone we know will, that we have to reconnect with those we feel have done us harm, or that continue to harm us. Neither should we continue to offer the gifts of our hearts to those who eschew them. These are actions based on fear and guilt, and not from a place of love and respect for our boundaries and those of others.

Live your life day by day. Some days you'll be swept up in the collective consciousness, asleep at your own wheel. Other days you'll be kind, forgiving and loving to yourself and the world around you, awake and alive. Sometimes you'll have everything in one day. That's the glorious mess of being human, and that in itself is pretty empowering and inspiring.

With love and healing,

Andrea